A scorched sun doesn't make any silver lining at all

Vienna, summer 2011

Both Before Sunrise and Before Sunset have been quite famous since they were released in 1995 and 2004 respectively. The way of storytelling based on conversations demonstrates how unique they are and why some people are obsessed with them.

After finishing watching Before Sunrise for the first time, I did really like it.  But what impressed me more was the idea of taking train from Budapest to Paris Lol.  I told myself that I must go to Europe and do the same thing! Well, I mean taking trains across the Continent, not meeting random girl, which is good of course. Anyway, I did fulfill this self promise during my two-year study in Europe. Thanks to Schengen agreement, the good transportation system and interrail pass, I could indulge myself in the ecstasy emerged from all the unrestrained moving. Moreover, the added values of all the journeys were the people I met, the stories I go to know and how they've taught and encouraged me. All in all, PEOPLE, wherever I met or bummed into, are the most supremely beautiful elements comprising my days in Europe. 

No sooner had I come back to Taiwan than I realized how much I changed. All the changes should have been blessings. But now they look like courses and afflictions that join forces to torture me. I am not going to dive into the details.  Anyway, I did really miss Europe, and therefore I watched Before Sunrise and Before Sunset the other day again Lol. I was so emotional as soon as I finished Before Sunrise this time. It reminded me of the freedom I have been in pursuit of. Most important of all, it partly exemplified the answer to life I have been looking for. I did find it somewhere and I knew how different life would be if I stuck to it.  


Someone might say that I simply romanticized what I've experienced. Well, I believe that we as human beings somehow usually incline to romanticize the thing we think of as "this is it". Furthermore, the romanticization might become more formidable if this thing is lost or taken away. I think this is the reason why I could partly get what Julie Delpy said in Before Sunset (even though it was not the same with my case) :


 "I was fine, until I read your fucking book! It stirred shit up, you know? It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things, and now it's like, I don't believe in anything that relates to love. I don't feel things for people anymore. In a way, I put all my romanticism into that one night, and I was never able to feel all this again. Like, somehow this night took things away from me and I expressed them to you, and you took them with you! It made me feel cold, like if love wasn't for me!" (note 1)

Paris, spring 2012

The family and the friends we are close with always want the best of us, and therefore they adopt the so called "positiveness" as the principle to help us out of the difficult time we suffer from. I did really appreciate of what my people have been trying to help me.  But what I need is not only being positive but also understanding my deep dark sides. Wiping out wounds is good. But if there are scars, you have to take different measures since the legacies will stand there everlastingly. If you merely keeping disguising them with "bright sides", it just like a propaganda. This is why I love so much Julie Delpy's saying as quoted in Before Sunrise:


"I believe if there's any kind of God it wouldn't be in any of us, not you or me but just this little space in between. If there's any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed but who cares really? The answer must be in the attempt." (Note 2)



It was this space where I saw my answer.  It was this space where some sort of essential nature was able to transcend both cultural and language barriers.  It was this space where the darkness was recognize! Positiveness didn't make any difference. Why? Because it's not about dark side. It's about me! It seems that so many people simply forget that the silver linings have always come from the back of clouds. Of course bright side does play a crucial  role in tackling problems and in pursuing the ideal lives. However, overwhelming sunshine is not called silver lining. It is, on the contrary, the sunlight  that will scorch the eyes. 


Now I am here. I am in this adorable Taiwan and I suffer more from  solitude than I did during the days in Sweden. I grotesquely lose the ability to feeling the lovely temperature. I am like a crazy, spoiled zombie who bites people randomly. It is so ironic, isn't it? 


But I will keep trying to reestablish the space and then recapture the answer as I have promised. If it doesn't work, I will just leave. I will lust leave...






Note 1: 
Please see http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Before_Sunset

Note 2:
please see http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/368938-before-sunrise-before-sunset-two-screenplays

因分享而真實

                                           "Happiness only real when shared " 

                                                                                    - Christopher McChandless 

(以此篇讓人看不懂、矯情之偽文青短文，紀念那大概寫不成的書以及這陣子的低潮)

來到芬蘭朋友也曾遊歷的孤寂國度後，我好像才慢慢開始瞭解何謂「快樂因分享而真實」。但是，如果Christopher McChandless當年得以重返熟悉的社會，他是否會重新思考這句話的意義呢? 畢竟，如果沒有相同的經歷，那種憾動人心的光景，要如何讓旁人感知呢? 在這種情形之下，愈發真實的，其實是孤寂，而不是快樂。


我曾經不是很在意快樂能否被分享，但是來到邊界巷後，這一切開始改變。邊界巷是這七百多個日子以來，最讓人驚喜的超展開之一。邊界巷的生活，可說是在保有自己生活風格的同時，還能不斷接受來自各方面的新刺激，像是語言、食物、"宗教戰爭"以及人生哲學等等。就是因為這些說也說不玩的驚喜，在接下來的北國短暫停留期間，我決定在啟程前往孤寂國度之前，一定要再回到邊界巷所在的城市。


後來，我也真的回到了那座城市。這一次，我來到了位於木綠的房間，那是其中一個從邊界巷所帶來的資產。同樣地，我再一次保有了所謂的自己的生活風格。然而，或許是因為孤寂國度不斷迫近，也或許是過去日子的影響開始發揮效力，我的負面情緒2.0開始以無法讓人忽視地姿態浮現。黑暗面的湧現，在我的人生旅途當中是很常見的。讓時間來撫平一切，則是我一貫的策略，當然這一次也不例外。但木綠的空間，讓這一次的憂鬱有了不一樣的轉化。如此難以言喻的超展開，使木綠在任何意義上都超越了邊界巷在我心中的位置。


那是在前往芬蘭人所說的孤寂國度的前一天。我終於在木綠的房間，聽見了不一樣的回應，並且看見了自己的面貌以及隱藏在那背後的仇恨。那絕對是我有生以來，最讓我內心震動的光景。那是一種超越文化與語言的感同身受；是一種唯有在許多隔閡之下，才顯的清晰的人的本質。原來，因分享而真實的，除了快樂之外，連哀傷也是如此。當哀傷變得真實的時候，反而形成了一股難以言喻的正面支撐力量。


但這樣的力量，在孤寂的國度裡，似乎漸漸成了一種侵蝕人心的劇毒。我不確定在這樣的情形之下，究竟會是由上帝還是由我親手來終結眼前的光明。但可以確定的是，木綠那至今仍深深撼動著我的美麗光景，將永遠清晰地烙印在我的內心深處。

Reflections upon the acquittal of Haradinaj: re-examining my two days in Kosovo in 2011

Pristina, 2011

Ramush Haradinaj has been cleared of the war crimes for the second time. I read this news in an article published in Weekly Balkan(周刊巴爾幹), a Taiwanese magazine paying attention mainly on the Balkan areas. This article was talking about the suicide committed by Serbia's ambassador to NATO, Branislav Milinkovic, last year (2012). The author inferred that there were some probable factors contributing to the self-destruction. Among them was the acquittal of Haradinaj's case, which made him disillusioned with the values lobbied by the so called democratic West. 

    What intrigued and stunned me was the angle of Serbians as victims this article proposed. This perspective was not new to me as the Montenegrin guy I met in Tivat told me that both sides - Serbia and Kosovo - delivered filthy conducts during the war in late 90s. However, I seemed to accentuate Kosovo Albanians as victims more and meanwhile perceiving Serbians as perpetrators. Moreover, I composed an article called The Duet Performed by Kosovar and Taiwanese to indicate the similar historical courses of oppression from powerful neighbor mainly; Serbia is to Kosovo what China is to Taiwan. After reading some articles and one related chapter in Michael Radu's book, Dilemmas of Democracy and Dictatorship, I deeply regretted that I was so insensitive/biased that I didn't think about how many dimensions this tragedy could present.  

    Defining the appearance of a war is never easy.  Diverse narratives will be unfolded upon different actors involved within and beyond the battle land. Even though the Hague Tribunal acquitted the accusations against Haradinaj, it seemed that the evidences were ample. According to the Voice of Russia, Haradinaj was allegedly "involved in the killings, tortures, raping, ethnic cleansing and tormenting of Serbs." In addition, "108 criminal cases involving murders and terrorism have been opened against him in Serbia." Moreover, as a former commander from Kosovo Liberation Army (KLA), Haradinaj was also convicted of committing inhuman crimes against Albanians who were "perceived to be collaborators with the Serbian authorities, or otherwise not supporters of the KLA" (note 1). This could echo what Michael Radu's (2006, 119) pointing out that the KLA eradicated not only Serbs but also the Albanians who were moderate  in or opposed to the use of violence in the conflicts (note 2).

    What's even more controversial was that the KLA utilized average folks to manipulate  their image of victimhood. The KLA knew that any single atrocity against civilians would trigger the emotion and action from the Western Countries. So, what the KLA had done was to irritate the Serbian force, whose typical brutality would eventually lead to indiscriminate retaliation against armless civilians (Radu 2006, 123). This strategy proved to be right. CNN's coverage, though actually incorrect and biased, also strengthened more of the victimhood the KLA had been eager for.  As Radu (ibid) pointed out, "... this sort of 'coverage' paints an inaccurate picture, and heightens the anti-Serbian sentiment that the KLA depends on." In a pro-USA country like Taiwan, CNN's images have tremendous leverage over the portrait of international issues. NATO's air strike on Belgrade also "re-affirmed" Serbia as the perpetrator, which deserved the bombs. So, it might not be so surprising to see how the image of Kosovo Albanians as the victims has carved such a strong and vivid story line out of my stiff brain. 

    I believe local knowledge of the war must be to some extent different from the propaganda shaped by the KLA and that by international community. Kosovo versus Serbia or Albanian versus Serb has myriad facets, but only the one with the most power and resource will be made the splendid facade.  It would be dangerous to stick to any one of them exclusively. However, you may also say that it would be ineffective and impractical to encompass as many perspectives as possible to outline the truth. I think this is the contradict and dilemma that will be confronted when tackling justice issues. But, in my opinion, paying attention to diverse views of point is still important. For example,  If I had talked to one of the Kosovar people, I would have had the chance of listening to different perspective and subsequently broken what I was told and taught. Different meanings rather than hatred or nationalist might probably emerge during the process of interaction and exploration. 

    Sounds like utopia? Yes, it does. Nevertheless, I know what attitude I should harbor in my mind when I am going back to Balkan areas in the future. Under this condition, I believe a new appearance of Balkan Peninsula will unfold in front of me.




Notes
1. Please see http://www.amnesty.org/en/news/kosovo-if-they-are-not-guilty-who-committed-war-crimes-2012-11-29

2. Michael, Radu. Dilemma o Democracy and Dictatorship: Place, Time, and Ideology in Global Perspective. New Brunswick, N.J. : Transaction Press, 2006.

Transitional justice, neoliberalism, and apathy in Taiwan

We had free elections,… we elected a free parliament, we have a free press, we have a democratic government. Yet…[t]here still exist and work the powerful structures of the former regime…Many places are governed by the same people as before. They are connected to managers of industrial enterprises. There exist immense bureaucratic colossuses that preclude rational economic behavior of individual enterprises and firms. The old bureaucracy persists in all levels.

(Václav Havel, former President of the Czech Republic. Quoted in David, ‘Lustration Laws in Action’, 394.)

WARN

This article contains lines that some readers may find radical, offensive and disturbing.  

2012 just passed. It is not a peaceful year for the 23 million people in Taiwan. The blog "妖言" (in Chinese only) lists the issues that haunts the island for the past one year as followings show:

(1) Nuclear Power

(2) The Land Rights / The Right to Reside

(3) Economic Issues

(4) Media Monopoly 

(5) Death Penalty 

(6) Labor Rights

(7) Environmental Issues

All these issues mentioned above are truly worthy of continuing attention and debates among us as the citizens. They are the manifestations of neoliberalism. They precisely demonstrate how the lives these days are defined by figures, numbers, and accompanied rankings. Some people are so insanely obsessed with all these "indicators." They believe their countries should pursue the best numerical outcomes, and one of the ways to reach it is liberal market in every sense. With government's interventions aimed to eliminate all the obstacles in the market, so many things that are actually incommensurable in the commercial world are transformed to commodities for competition in the "free market." Under this situation, the government, which should have protected its people, comes to be the conspirator with giant enterprise whose own motto is making money. 

All those seven issues above (and others) trigger so many concerns, attentions, and subsequent movements. Tons of related articles are shared on social media like Facebook. Unfortunately, all these pieces of information don't succeed in box office. For example, I do concern about the media monopoly and therefore I paint the wall on my Facebook with related debates and words. Interestingly, the friends who are willing to share and discuss are so few, and they always form the same cast. The rest of my friends? Ok, some seldom log in on FB and thus are not able to see all of the stuffs. Some are apparently optimistic and would like to say something to support the government as possible as they can Hence, they tend to share the seemingly objective reports that fight against the activists and question the legitimacy of the opposition side. I really don't understand why there are still many people believing the government and the market mechanism. But at least they are openly being what they are and openly demonstrate what they think. Under this situation, the discussion and debate are possible. 

However, there is a group of the FB users can be seen, appearing to dissatisfy with the status quo  as well. But they usually distance themselves from all the issues. They just don't share or like what's going on. It doesn't mean that they simply skip, dislike, or disagree with all the perspectives. It doesn't mean that they are not concerned about the issues either as I've said they are not pleased at the situation right now. Nevertheless, I do think it still to some degree embodies what life people these days want to live and how they would like to change the world and made it better. Furthermore, it also points to what kind of future they would like to leave for the coming generations. Ok, maybe you would say that I am imposing my own ideology and doctrine on those who don't share the same faith and value with me. Hence, it's their right to determine what to read and what to share on their FBs. Ya...you are right...

The answer to this apathy/indifference might partly lie with Taiwanese nationality referring to conservatism and money-driven rule, and partly with the nature of transitional justice which is not copes with at all. I do think these two elements are interdependent  on each other. But I argue that the factor of transitional justice plays the most part on leading to the situation these days. Due to the unfinished transition justice, elites who took high-ranking position in every sphere before continues reproducing their privilege and success today. They also use their resource and power to downplay what they have done in the past and how important it is to look backward if the society would like to move forward. With this premise, Taiwan has no lustration law which can to some extent prevent the persons who had close relationships with the past regime from taking important societal positions. On the other hand, Taiwan Association for Truth and Reconciliation barely makes any ripple to intrigue people due to its invisibility as well as its politicized nature, which may provoke antipathy and untrustiness among average folks. 

This adverse circumstance for justice establishing, combined with (some) Taiwanese people's addiction to money making, or the so called stable life pursuing, has made this island a perverted case among other post-authoritarian countries. Some youths take all kinds of freedom they enjoy as granted while a group of people  grew up in that non-free era perceive the bad old days as an actually better one owing to the staggering economic growth and   accompanied GDP soaring. However, the fact that we could still log in on Facebook and YouTube doesn't mean we have a truly sound democracy and unfettered civil society. It doesn't guarantee that the human rights will be with us forever and ever either. It will fade away if we don't explore and learn it more! The authoritarian devil can definitely return to get us, not to mention that it is actually lurking in the neighborhood. On the other hand, many of the economic developments do have their dark sides such as the seven issues mentioned previously. In other words, not only the relations of production but also the social values and knowledge are obscured by varied forms of fetishism underpinned by the immense neoliberalism. All these factors make a vicious circle, which subsequently drive the society insane and frantic.

So, what should we do? Or, what we can do now when the tumor is at late stage? Change the legal system? Redesign the educational programs? Launch a revolution when some threshold is reached? My own answer is that we have to face the history first. Namely, we still have to deal with the transitional justice even though it can probably tear apart the society. By doing it, we might restore the trust in politics. By doing this, we may bring people back to the forefront of social issues with diverse perspectives. By doing this, the dark history might not be repeated in future generation. 

But what is the measure then? Sorry, I don't know yet...

  

Who should define sustainable city?

Who should define sustainable city?

Preface

This article is a very brief excerpt from my master's thesis. Actually, I was going to send this piece of work to a research center based in Copenhagen in order to apply for an internship. Due to some reasons, I had to give up and therefore this article would not be able to be showed on their website. Now I would love to post it on my own blog and share with the people who also have the interests in sustainability issue as well as Stuttgart 21. This article only delivered what had been going on until this February. I would love to hear from any update and different perspectives. 

Stuttgart, the capital of state Baden-Württemberg located in Southwestern Germany, is home to many automobile industries such as Mercedes and Porsche. It is not only the cluster of high technology but also one of the strongest and most prosperous commercial metropolitan areas in Germany. Now, there have been many controversies over the rail project Stuttgart 21.

Stuttgart 21 is one part of the Stuttgart-Ulm rail project and its mission is to reconstruct and transformed present station, which is a terminal station on the ground, into an underground, through station. One of the guidelines of this project is sustainable development based on the definition by the Brundtlandt Commission in 19871. With Stuttgart 21, rail will become a more attractive and convenient way of traveling / commuting, and therefore it will reshape the traffic landscape by shifting passengers from road to rail. This shift will subsequently reduce the amount of carbon dioxide emission by 70, 000 tonnes per year2. In addition, due to the tunnelization, the noise pollution will sink underground creating a quiet place for living and working3. The clout of sustainable guideline can also be achieved in the developmental planning upon the new-born land with around 100 hectares in consequence of the tunnelization4. Firstly, the history of urban expansion in expense of green land will not be repeated. Secondly, the around 20 hectares among the enlarging land – with 4,200 of new plants to be planted – will be integrated into the present park, which means the green lung of Stuttgart city will become larger5. Thirdly, future’s building upon the new land will be built based on ecological standard referring to sustainable material and non-fossil fuel6.

The opponents of this project, however, have very different views of point. For instance, as some of the local people point out, the promises of Stuttgart 21 regarding are not guaranteed since the charming figures are calculated based on the wrong information7. In addition, there are some latent risks emerging if Stuttgart 21 is going to progress. For example, the station construction will impact the layers that keep the deposit of mineral water, and thus creating a risk of leaking and drying up8. The geology is also the concern. Beneath Stuttgart city lies the porous layer of anhydrite; when being contact with water, it becomes gypsum while simultaneously swelling9. The expanding and swelling layer indicates to the possibility of damage to the station, tunnel, and everything else above. Moreover, the explicit damage could be seen in Schlossgarten, the park next to train station. Owing to Stuttgart 21, nearly 300 trees have to be felled, and this means the species – protected Juchtenkäfer (hermit beetle in English) among them – which rely on these plants are to be fallen as well10. The action of planting 4,200 new trees is not going to save Juchtenkäfer since only elder and bigger ones can serve as the niche for this insect11. Moreover, the new land is going to be riddled with buildings and grassy areas and thus leaves no room for the claimed 4,200 population. And, those will-be-absent trees will subsequently make the air condition notorious since an estimated 65,000 trees are needed for absorbing CO212.

On 27th November 2011, there was a referendum taken place aimed to settle down the dispute. The outcome was that 58% of the voters wanted it to be continued13. However, this direct democracy was not able to put off the flares in opponents’ angry minds since there were controversies over information transparency. In addition, the common ground was kept up in the air when no constructive mechanism was offered for different sides. In the end, given the democratic values, the undesired risk followed by fear is still there.

Therefore, the case of Stuttgart 21 only shows that what sustainability looks like could be different from person to person. It prompts today’s society to ruminate on how we can pay attention and respect diverse voices in order to reach sustainable city. Scientific expert and institutional policy are indeed important. However, if we could not include diverse values and knowledge, the city would lose its soul. After all, sustainable city is the place where local people are going to live, the field where local knowledge knows how to interact with the environment harmoniously and sustainably.

Notes

1 “Construction and the environment: Urban and environmentally compatible construction,” Stuttgart-Ulm rail project, http://www.bahnprojekt-stuttgart-ulm.de/en-gb/environmentally-compatible-mobility/default.aspx

2 ”21 good reasons: for Stuttgart 21,” Stuttgart-Ulm rail project, http://www.das-neue-herz-europas.de/en-gb/21-good-reasons/default.aspx

3 ”21 good reasons: for Stuttgart 21,” Stuttgart-Ulm rail project, http://www.das-neue-herz-europas.de/en-gb/21-good-reasons/default.aspx

4 ”21 good reasons: for Stuttgart 21,” Stuttgart-Ulm rail project, http://www.das-neue-herz-europas.de/en-gb/21-good-reasons/default.aspx


5 ”21 good reasons: for Stuttgart 21,” Stuttgart-Ulm rail project, http://www.das-neue-herz-europas.de/en-gb/21-good-reasons/default.aspx

6 ”21 good reasons: for Stuttgart 21,” Stuttgart-Ulm rail project, http://www.das-neue-herz-europas.de/en-gb/21-good-reasons/default.aspx

7 “Service capability,” Stuttgart – a city in conflict, http://www.stop-stuttgart21.info/html/service.html

8“Ökologisch & nachhaltig,” Ja zum Kopfbahnhof: Kopfbahnhof 21, http://www.kopfbahnhof-21.de/index.php?id=307

9”mineral springs and geology,” Stuttgart – a city in conflict, http://www.stop-stuttgart21.info/html/mineral.html

10”the park "Schlossgarten" and ecological concerns,” Stuttgart – a city in conflict , http://www.stop-stuttgart21.info/html/park.html

11 ”the park "Schlossgarten" and ecological concerns,” Stuttgart – a city in conflict , http://www.stop-stuttgart21.info/html/park.html

12 ”the park "Schlossgarten" and ecological concerns,” Stuttgart – a city in conflict , http://www.stop-stuttgart21.info/html/park.html

13 “The Referendum,” Stuttgart – a city in conflict, http://www.stop-stuttgart21.info/html/referendum2.html

Taiwanese Sometimes! Please show us your divine manifestation! (the edited version) (台灣三太子! 請顯靈保庇台灣)

Thanks for  E. Hamann and K. Weiners's editing.
 

I have done my best to find the most proper English translation of the Taiwanese god dancing in the picture above. You may call him the "Neon God or the Third Prince. You can also call him Saitaize In this article, I will call him "(Taiwanese) sometimes" instead, which is similar to the pronunciation of Saitaize. This name is also used by the man in this picture who clad in the costume of the God.

This person is called Ed Wu. According to his blog (which is in Chinese only for the time being), the reason why he would love to launch this initiative is because of Taiwan's invisibility as well as the flag-stripped incidents seen in many international occasions. This came from his own personal experience when he was in Singapore 2008. In 2011, he set up his first journey with Sometimes, one of the elements representing Taiwanese culture. The film Where the hell is that Taiwan guy documented this spectacular trip. What he has done touched Taiwanese emotionally and made them want to help him in different ways to accomplish his ultimate goal: traveling to 100 countries, making footage in different places that will be compiled as a  stunning documentary in the hope of bringing Taiwan to the front stage of the world.

This summer London held the Olympic Games. Millions of tourists came to the city. London was the spotlight of the world, and thus the perfect stage for Taiwanese. It was not surprising that Ed decided to go , called for help from students and compatriots, and make the film there. It was such a big chance of making Taiwan highly visible, of making more people know we Taiwanese are the citizens of the world as well.


Ed's activity in London was on the 29th of July. Originally I had planned to go to Brussels on the 26th and therefore would not be able to attend the activity. However, there was an incident that happened some days before that event. The flag hanging in Piccadilly Circus was removed under the pressure from "someone," and we all knew who it was. This ending was not unexpected. However, I felt so insulted and angry as long as I saw the empty place where our flag should have occupied. Under this condition, I decided to stay longer so I could make contributions to the event on 29th. 


On that day, the number of present Taiwanese was beyond what Ed had expected. After the film was finished, we went from Regent's Park to Piccadilly Circus to continue on the Taiwanese pride. At the place where our real flag was stripped off and replaced by a ridiculous compromise called "Chinese Taipei Olympic Flag",   we shared the merriness and pride in being Taiwanese  with people from all over the world. The National Flag Anthem also resonated among every Taiwanese present there. At that moment, I believe that one sort of unspoken feeling could be felt with every participant, with joy, sorrow, many different emotions deluging deep inside.

It might be very difficult for most  people who didn't grow up in Taiwan to understand how complicated and difficult the situation has been. It's also very hard for many of them to imagine the fear of losing one's home country, being annexed by the would-be super power which doesn't know how to respect different perspectives and voices yet.  Owing to international reality based on military power and commercial profits, many countries don't recognize Taiwan, ROC, as a normal country. This is one of the reasons why Taiwan as a de facto country has been invisible in the world.


With Taiwan's increasing dependence on China's market, Beijing has begun to wield its leverage on many facets as well. Subsequently, what we could see was that some of the most successful tycoons, who have been in pursuit of the lion's share of the Chinese market politically and commercially, had come to the forefront and delivered the statements before the presidential election was held early this year, hoping to influence  the final result.  


I believe those powerful persons did have influence on some voters. However, no matter how much he or she bought the words, the reality was that more and more Taiwanese would rather consider the issues relevant to their and their families' financial situation. Some are fighting for the survival threatened by the crisis while some are pursuing the stable lives referring to the so called "reality". Work takes over their lives as well as the room for different possibilities. In addition, mass media without quality and battles between political parties that always establish nothing both make  society more chaotic and pathetic. Social and international consciousness don't exist at all. Neither change nor ideal has niche in  Taiwanese society.  

What Ed has been doing shows that we Taiwanese have to think beyond conventional values and do something different, stepping forward and out of our comfort zone if we really want to change the status quo that chokes us. His case also reflects that there are indeed many citizens doing something with tons of endeavor for the island and their people, in different ways, in every sense. Furthermore, Ed serves as a muse for the people who want to do something and as the warmest inspiration for the folks who, for the time being, are not able to afford any single tiny revolution in daily life.

Actually, it rained a lot in the beginning of the film making. I recalled that there was someone screaming out: "Taiwanese Sometimes! Please show us your divine manifestation!" This praying-for-sunshine line might to some extent show how urgent and difficult Taiwan's situation is; the 23 million citizens of the island may have to pray for a miracle. But before the miracle falls upon us, we have to do something first. Ed's initiative in London embodies that Taiwanese people can be unified and do something big together, with the pride of being one part of the land. 


The sun showed up after a while actually. I hope it will be what we Taiwanese are going to see and enjoy in the recent future to come.

The Duet Performed by Kosovar and Taiwanese

Kosovo, an officially new-born country in the 2000s, and one of the poorest countries in Europe, is the destination to whom I was eager to go last summer in 2011. The reason I felt like going might be simply based on my own superficial projection referring to Taiwanese identity which has been rejected by international reality. 


Before I went to Pristina, the capital of Kosovo, I had heard about some descriptions in regards with this city. For example, a polish girl I met in Ljubljana mentioned that (it was said) there were still some mines rested in many buildings. The owner of the hostel in Tivat where I stayed wrapped Pristina as a scary city with his jokingly erratic facial expression. Moreover, there was a Montenegrin guy told me that generally Kosovo was not a good place to visit then. There have been many sad and ugly things conducted by Serbians as well as by Kosovars. One of his uncle lost his lives during the war. 


All these comments may merely point to some facades among others. Nevertheless, it's no doubt that the legacy of the conflict was still there, and the tense between it and Serbia appeared to keep lasting for the coming generations. 

The journey to Pristina was long enough to help escalate the anxiety and nervousness in mind. Meanwhile, the rugged but breathtaking mountains eased my nerves. A Macedonian Australian guy and a beautiful Macedonian girl sat around me, both of whom were so friendly and chatted with me, also made me feel somewhat relieved. 

As long as the bus crossed the border, I overlooked the settlement located in the dark valley surrounded by the silent mountains. It's really hard for a person like me coming from a country with long peaceful situation to imagine the bullet-riddled grounds which just had been so real in the recent past. 

It was a few minutes to 4 a.m. when I woke up everyone who was heading for Skopje. The bus was pulled over on the side of the main road, where a fleet of tanks just passed. I went inside the bus station, taking a nap until 7 a.m. 

I observed the city landscape of Pristina from inside while the taxi rolled its wheels in the city. It was so different from the places where I had been to in Europe then. I felt as if I was watching a program on national geographic channel. The image impact became even stronger when I walked on the street after settling in hostel. Kosovo is for sure located in Europe, and I knew that it was such a different place given its history and culture. However, the landscape still made my frame of understanding fall apart; Mosque, music, traffic, market, tradutional custome, building, and so on all, every element here formed the slides that dazzled my eyes. 

Perhaps it's almost impossible to be a blank sheet of music paper when exploring a place you haven't been to before. In the very beginning every melody you write to a large extent denotes the clout of your assumption and understanding based on former experiences. The following key point is how to find different stories behind the evidences that are seemingly  in accordance with what you have been taught and told. It seemed that I didn't do this well. To me, the air was saturated with the legacy of the war against Serbia. The overflow of sad moisture was not condensed into rainwater and therefore the objects were surrounded by the depressed fog, looking gray, mottled, and dusty. The photos of missing people during the war hang on the wall of the governmental building (next to the Skanderberg statue) particularly weighted this kind of sorrowfulness. It reminded us of how real and horrible the war has been. It also manifested what innocent folks couldn't beg for option but luck when this kind of repeatedly historical trajectory  on the rail. 

 

Due to the escalating tension in the border with Serbia then, I determined not to linger here for too long. After two days of stay, I headed for Tirana from Pristina directly. Looking out from the window with the bus lurching forward on the main road to Tirana, while the desolate, ever-battled, wounded land cascading from horizon  in front of my eyes, recalling the Roma boy who might also crystal the solitude, I saw no immediate hope. 

It was apparently that I came up with this no-hope statement  based on not only the assumptions mentioned above but also my own definition shaped by my growing up in Taiwan of how the life should look like. Taiwan hasn't experience war for more than half a century. Since Chiang Kei-shek retreated to Taiwan in 1949, the island, including other small ones scattered on the ocean, has undergone dramatically changes and vicissitudes. These days Taiwan has removed the shackles of poverty / totalitarian rule and standed out in the world with its own fierceness. What I have grown up along with made it difficult for me to imagine how a country like Kosovo could recover from the wound and trauma and then regain its gorgeousness again.

In fact, there has been one hope existing in this land since the end of the war. Namely, Kosovars  have their own country at least. There are around 90 political entities that have recognized Kosovo as a country such as most of the EU members, US, Canada, and Japan. In other words, for the coming future Kosovars could keep enjoying their own identity without worrying about the insulting and confusing from outside, or, Serbia. The recognition from (most of) EU and US is like the ticket to the international community, the official and "normal" one. 

As for Taiwan, in contrast, China's threatening is becoming immense and closer. Tons of profits that can gained from China's market make most of the world silent in rights and justice regarding with Taiwanese people. Only around twenty countries still maintain official relationships with the island with most of them underpinned by the desire of money. The more and more difficulty situation in the international community and complicated historical legacies make many stuffs politically important. Meanwhile, emotionally burdensome and annoying, even the tiny things as well. The money thing, now matter it is related to the seduction of filthy lucre from China or simply refers to the basic survival, makes the situation more perplexing in this crisis era. Under those conditions, many  folks choose to be silent, pathetic, and, you may call it, practical.

Of course, the definition of hope varies. But both Kosovar and Taiwanese would like to keep having and looking their own hopes. What we (they) ask for, are simply the respect. Without respect, how could the easy and normal life fall upon us?

But, as I have said, Kosovar has their own country, and therefore other kind of hopes could be built upon its land. Taiwanese? I see no immediate hope.

I owe you an apology, Sweden.

It really got on my nerves if someone asked me about the lives in Sweden.

For the past two years I had been in pursuit of the master’s degree called Human Ecology in Lund University of Sweden. During this span of time, I studied and partied as other international students did. However, I also moved around. I had stayed in seven different places in Lund / Malmö, which was very rare to be seen among the things happening to students. Owing to the nomadic life style, I got few chances to dive into Swedish culture. Besides, the mates I lived with and the friends I got close to were nearly from non-Nordic countries. Namely, what I or we learned could be very superficial and stereotypical. Even though I attended cafe multilingual, where I got to know some nice Swedes, it was hardly found even only one piece of jigsaw to complete the picture.

Maybe language barrier made one of the obstacles. Because I didn’t plan to stay in Sweden after finishing the degree, Swedish class became so secondary; meanwhile, I was busy…and lazy as well, all these factors – or you may call them excuses – led to my illiteracy in Swedish. Language doesn’t guarantee that an outsider could be like the fish in the water forever and ever, but it at least paves the road – no matter how far it can actually reach – for a newcomer to step forward.

Emotion also played important roles in making my excuses. I would say that this was the Lucifer among others. In the beginning, the idyllic scenes of Skåne province as well as the tranquil of Lund did fresh my flesh which had been exhausted by the social ties and mainstream values back in my home country Taiwan. I could still recall how fragrant the air was when I opened the window of my first home I stay, which was located on 10^th floor of a flat, enabling me to overlook the south of Lund. Even the opening chapter of snow – though a bit early at the time – didn’t render the coming difficulty winter foreseeable given that I was obsessed with the white would for the first time in my life.

The good days did not last long. The Nordic put on a cruel face when northern hemisphere moved closer mile by mile to the sun as it has done since the earth emerged. The endless darkness, accompanied by tones of falling snow breaking the record in years, was beyond the mental preparation I have made and transcending all the alarms I had got from my friends. The rural quietude ironically appeared as the once-excited drug that ended up enervating your body. No matter how hard I had tried, it was super difficult to uproot the melancholy planted deep inside.

This very first winter I experienced made me unreasonably critical when confronting any single unpleasant stuff; the accusation of racism in particular. For instance, one day before 2011 Valborg I was hit by an egg-like object thrown from a car passing by. It happened so transient that I didn’t know how many people were in the car, not to mention what they looked like. As I said that this happened when the crazy Valborg was coming, this could be done by someone who couldn’t wait and thus got drunk earlier than other Swedes have always done. In addition, the driver might come from Denmark or other member states of EU. Well, you may say that it was not so cynical attributing this event to racism since the possibility was there and it did cause uncomfortable reaction. OK, there were more. There was a lady in the supermarket across from Lund main station seemed to dislike checking the tag attached to every single apple, which meant that different tags referred to different prices. Under this situation, I didn’t always pay what I got. I perceived this as racism every time the same case happened. Furthermore, the other day I went to a cafe to read the literatures for my thesis. After I finished my drink, a waiter came to me and said that he felt sorry to ask me leave but only the customers who were going to have lunch would be served. I looked around the not-so-crowded space and found that I was the only one being asked to do so given that there were others who ordered drink only. And I also realized that I was the only Asian at that point while others were Swedish, or, at least white.

the Valborg in Lund, 2011

Both of these cases could have some reasons rather than racism. The lady might simply not enjoy her job, and perhaps the man in cafe went asking other customers to leave later when I was not present. However, I was too negative to look at the bright sides. Even the fantastic summer here couldn’t emancipate me from the prejudice built upon my subjectivity and shallow knowledge of this Nordic country. Under this condition, my words with regard to the lives in Sweden, or to the country Sweden, were relatively harsh. Every good part of Swedish life would lose its luster when my bitter experience loomed and then took over the stage.

After finishing my master’s degree, I went to London to take a break from academia. This trip manifested that the life in Lund eventually had come to an end, maybe temporarily, maybe for good. This was my second time being in London. I was still enchanted by its glamorousness and colorfulness. In my case, London is like the antithesis of Sweden. There are many things for sure that can easily disfigure London’s gorgeousness, such as the unpredictable weather and the crazy tourists springing from every corner of the city. Nevertheless, I am still obsessed with it. Every dark side of London would fade its gloom when my fantastic experience shined on the stage. In other words, one can love or hate a place with or without any reason.

How London was highly rated (by me) sometimes, only sometimes, made me want to examine how the life in Lund was underrated. The prejudice and complaints appeared to obscure every single piece of good memory. Was I going to leave Europe with so many unfair comments on Sweden? Did Sweden, or Lund, change me in any good way?

The other day, my friends and I were planning to go somewhere by bus. As soon as I got on the bus, I smiled and said hi to the driver. After a while, I found that I was the only passenger in that queue who had done this. At that moment I saw Sweden in me. In fact I don’t know if it was like an unwritten statute all over Sweden. At least people in Lund / Malmö do so, with heart or not. It was possible that this polite manner was simply a routine. Nevertheless, I still believe that six or seven out of ten times people conduct this with their thanks.

From this event onwards, the good parts of the past two years started to emerge, or, to be recalled; the deadline of paper which did not exist indeed, the F which can possibly be nominal, the men with baby trolleys, the space design which fully embodies gender equality, the second-handed store that can be seen everywhere…etc. All these things represented the alternatives I could have in my life, or served as the mirror which reflected what I can learn from and what I should cling to in order to change, or fight against, the main stream society in Taiwan. Of course all of these values were possibly my shallow observations as well, but at least I started to look at the surface which glowed in the Nordic sunshine.

I do apologize, Sweden. Well I still have to say that the winter is no doubt horrible. Nevertheless, I would like to say thank you for the company. I also appreciate the things you have taught me for the past two years (oh...less than two years since I went to so many places during the stay in Europe); I do change in a positive and subtle way, as you have always done when you stand out in front of the world.